Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'Maybe we should just be friends' or 'How very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.
I hate love.
NEIL GAIMAN; Rose Walker's Soliloquy in Sandman #65: The Kindly Ones
It's strange and puzzling how small actions, perhaps even performed unknowingly by those you love, can hurt so deeply. Even simple words with only the best of intentions can be like receiving a knife's blade through the heart, again and again.
And when it happens you have to ask yourself, who is at fault? Who is the fool? And every time this question plagues you, the conclusion must always be that you only have yourself to blame. You had the armor, and you let it down.
You let it down for one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, who sees you in that exact way.
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