Anything Considered

On the way home today, some old thoughts came to mind. I find subtle expression in words difficult for now, so pardon the blunt writing.

I've been thinking about impressions. It goes without saying that we all like to be liked. None of us want to be thought of in a negative way with respect to the standards and ideals that we have. And so, to avoid being thought of as sloppy, we dress neatly; to avoid being thought of as unfriendly, we put on pleasing expressions; to avoid being thought of as less than intelligent, we maneuver ourselves into situations which allow us to showcase our opinions.

Of course, the things which are important differ from person to person. There are things which I may completely disregard, which you consider as fundamental. The bottom line is that I have my ideal standards, and you have yours, and we all want to achieve them.

The problem is that success in these areas can be highly subjective. For instance, when can you be truly considered fashionable? Or sociable? Or friendly? We are judged by society, and the results of today's judgment will always be replaced by that of tomorrow.

I think this is the reason why impressions become important. I may not know that you will exhibit a certain quality tomorrow, but because of my past judgments, I have an impression that you possess this quality innately, and assume that you will exhibit it continually. If this 'I' represents the collective sentiment of a community you belong to, then in their eyes and yours, you have become successful.

Now it is likely that you are not yet at that perceived level. And we humans, with our various systemic and random flaws, are unlikely to ever attain our ideal standards. So the natural outcome is a chase after the next best thing - impressions.

This leads to some perplexing outcomes. For one, people begin to perceive changes in impressions as more important than the actual difference between reality and the ideal. Also, because impressions come to matter so much, we form impressions of others much more readily - becoming judgmental - without realising that we are all collectively far from the ideal; by doing so, we allow ourselves to become the ideal.

It is a kind of pride of which I am guilty of, and which I hate. It annoys me incessantly when, for instance, people make negative comments about the host and some of his failings in a party, and allow these comments to become the defining impression of the event. The fact of the matter is, he is the one who is most likely working towards the ideal, and the critics, as critics, have made no advances in that direction. Any idiot can tell you that 30% > 0%.

Nobody wants to look bad. Impressions are important but they can blind us. Nobody wants to look bad.

Don't be blind.