I don't like how interacting with people can be so complicated nowdays. There's always something to consider; something I'm saying too much of; something I'm not noticing. There're so many hints, and so much diplomacy. It makes me feel awfully frustrated.
I'm a relatively simple person. I like simplicity in things. I think it's beautiful. And I think, in the same way, we all respect a simple love. Simple trust. Openness. Honesty. These things are so rare and hard to find nowadays. Even in being honest, we make ourselves diplomatic.
It is deeply upsetting. There aren't many things I'd like better than to be able to spend some time with a loved one. Simple time. Enjoying the company, enjoying the time. These days, it seems that the more you care about somebody, the more attuned you have to be to all the complications.
I know for some people this comes completely naturally. They pick up the hints easily, respond accordingly, consider the many minutae and piece them together in a conceivable and positive scheme of things, and execute the entire operation well. Perhaps for them it's completely normal. Besides, even if it weren't, this would be just a part of life to get accustomed to.
But I'm not that kind of guy. I like a simple love. Simple care and concern. Simple trust. Simple promises. They mean something to me. And I do not lie when I offer them either. When these things are taken lightly, like empty words in a huge web of complex nuances, I feel very disillusioned, and very sad indeed.
You can call me an idealist, but don't you dare call me a liar.
4 Comments:
dear Jared,
We think all of us ought to be 'idealists'--for lack of a better word---for I dont agree that there is anything very idealistic about trying to do what is right. Sometimes we tend to make too much of what people normally call 'right conduct':' they seem to know how to react just the right way...' and at certain times it upsets me too. For love in its essence is simple, that is, without calculations, and second guessing and fearing of being hurt. Those extra things make the picture a whole lot more complicated.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
I pray that your love remains pure and simple that way--and I pray that your heart will only seek after what is of God.
He never fails.
haha i don't know if that verse quite fits the context, but i appreciate it. thank you. :)
it's strange, isn't it? that after all the complications in life, after all that we may strive to do and understand, the final objective in the verse is seeing God. it is as if we should have skipped all that waste of time, and sought God first, because nothing else compares.
I think so.
But dont you figure sometimes that once we have found Him, He might send us back into the social hurdle all over again for His sake?
...
But that is entirely different, I suppose, for by then we would be much less afraid of being hurt (or being belittled) to even mind.
I wouldn't put it that way. I don't think God tosses us away from him - ever. But we are human, and we do falter.
I think knowing and having experienced God certainly does help when we are away from Him. But the pain is always vivid, and the loneliness hard to bear.
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